Dallas Divorce Law Blog by Michelle O'Neil

As I’ve posted recently, issues often arise about how to handle kids and divorce.  One of the problems has received recent media attention from Hulk Hogan’s divorce.  Apparently Hulk is sending messages to estranged wife Linda through their 17-year-old son and otherwise discussing divorce issues — the sale of the marital residence — with him, causing the son to developed emotional issues.  See article here.

One would think it goes without saying that parents should not put their children in the middle of communication about grown-up issues. Most Texas divorce courts enter orders prohibiting discussions about the litigation in the hearing of the child as soon as the divorce is filed.  Some counties, including Dallas, Collin, Tarrant, and Denton, call these “Standing Orders” (see blog post Dallas Divorce Lawyers Know…).  But, sometimes parents still allow their judgment to be clouded by the emotion of the divorce to the extent that they forget to put the kids first.

Dick Price has a good blog post on his website about Divorce No No’s that he says can lead to emotional and behavioral problems.  His list of No No’s includes:

1. Make a child into a messenger.
2. Let the kids overhear comments about the other parent.
3. Let the kids be present, in person or on the phone, to hear arguments about the kids.
4. Make comments directly to the child about the other parent.
5. Discuss the “facts” or “truth” about the divorce with the kids.
6. Inform the kids, or let them know, about what they are missing out on becasue they will be with the other parent.
7. Ask the kids to make choices between parents.

To read more of Mr. Price’s article, click here.

More Men Get Alimony as Stigma Lessens

By Debra Cassens Weiss

As more men sacrifice their careers for their higher earning spouses, more are receiving court-ordered alimony. And more are willing to talk about it.

The percentage of men receiving alimony rose to 3.6 percent in the five years ending in 2006, compared to 2.4 percent in the previous five-year period, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Among those receiving alimony is actor John David Castellanos, who used to star in The Young and the Restless. He gets $9,000 a month. He claims he helped his wife move up in her career, until she began to make more money than him. Another alimony recipient is toilet salesman Joe Garnick, who quit his job to raise the kids and take care of the house. He received $50,000 a year for four years from his ex-wife, who was a global equity derivatives strategist for Merrill Lynch.

The story suggests alimony figures will rise based on 2005 data that shows wives made more money than their husbands in 33 percent of all families. Men often argue they sacrificed their careers or stayed at home to raise children for their spouses.

“Today’s men are shaking off the stigma of being supported by their ex-wives,” the story says. “Several agreed to talk on the record for this article, in part because they say the popular image of the male alimony recipient is unfair: He’s not always a slacker.”

The New York Times ran an article on February 13, 2008, about the increasing controversy over religion in custody cases. See article here. Increasingly, people of different religions marry and divorce, then disagree over which religion(s) to introduce to the children. Or, tensions can emerge when one parent becomes more fundamentalist in their faith than previously.

As a general rule, a judge will not — and probably cannot — pick one religion over another as preferable. The constitutional freedom of religion that we here in American experience also carries over to custody cases. A judge may decide whether either or both parents have the right to make decisions about the child’s religion while the child is in that parent’s care. Usually, a parent may address religion or religious beliefs with the child while the child is with them during parenting time. But, short of finding some harm to the child from the parent’s religion or beliefs, a judge will probably stay out of the fray.

Kanye West, Hip Hop superstar and Grammy winner, gives advice to people wanting to get married: “If you aint no punk holla We Want Prenup, WE WANT PRENUP! Yeaah! It’s something that you need to have…” (From “Gold Digger” off of the Late Registration album (Roc-A-Fella/Def Jam 2005)) In other words, he recommends that everyone should get a prenup before getting married.

Jessica Simpson didn’t listen to this advice when she married Nick Lachey without a prenup.

But, Britney Spears did heed the warning. Apparently Britney even staged a fake wedding because Federline hadn’t signed the prenup in time. Britney’s prenup gave K-Fed $250,000 for each year of the marriage, which is rumored to have been increased to $500,000 per year during settlement negotiations.

Some celebrity prenups go far beyond the standard identification of assets owned before the marriage and what each party leaves the marriage with, including clauses like:

* Limiting the wife’s weight to 120 pounds or she must relinquish $100,000 of her separate property.

* Allowing a spouse to perform random drug tests, with financial penalties for positive results.

* Requiring a husband to pay $10,000 each time he is rude to his wife’s parents.

Infidelity clauses are common, where a spouse gets paid if the other is unfaithful. Michael Douglas agreed to pay Catherine Zeta-Jones millions should he stray, and Denise Richards made similar requirements of Charlie Sheen.

Custody of pets is another common concern, especially since most divorce courts will treat the pets like an item of property.

However, prenups are important for almost everyone planning to get married, regardless of celebrity status. A prenup can be as simple as defining who has what at the time of the marriage. It can also address how property acquired during the marriage will be treated upon divorce, which spouse will be responsible for payment of the marital obligations, and how the property will be distributed upon death of one of the spouses.

For assistance with a prenup or marital property agreement, please contact The May Firm for an appointment. But, don’t wait until the last minute, as prenups require plenty of planning and discussion.

I have been honored to be featured in the Texas Bar Journal February 2008 edition Technology column. To see the article, click here. I have also been listed at the Texas Bar’s list of attorney blogs. See that website here.

If you are in need of a Texas Board Certified Family Law attorney, please contact us.

March 1, 2008
Welcome to The May Firm Newsletter!
As a service to our clients, we at The May Firm and Divorce Magazine are pleased to provide you with this monthly e-newsletter and hope that the information and articles contained within are helpful, supportive, and entertaining. Michelle May O’Neil is nationally recognized as a leader in family law. Her firm emphasizes high-quality representation in family-law matters, with a particular emphasis on child-custody disputes, complex marital-property litigation, and appeals of family-law matters. For more information, please click here: www.DivorceMagazine.com/TX/pro/may.shtml or view our website at: www.themayfirm.com.

If you wish to schedule an appointment to further discuss your situation, please contact us.

Useful Articles:
1. CHILDREN AND DIVORCE: Within a child’s heart
2. MEDIATION: A fair negotiation
3. DIVORCE RECOVERY: Full esteem ahead
4. RELATIONSHIPS: Sex and divorce
5. BUSINESS VALUATION: How will you find value?
6. FINANCIAL PLANNING/INVESTMENT: Charting your expenses
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1. CHILDREN AND DIVORCE
Within a child’s heart
A glimpse into the journey one boy faced when his parents divorced.
http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Children_and_Divorce/childsheart.html
2. MEDIATION
A fair negotiation
Negotiation skills will help you achieve your needs without alienating or angering the other parties. Here’s how to use negotiation to build better interpersonal relationships.
http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Mediation/negotiation.html
3. DIVORCE RECOVERY
Full esteem ahead
Reclaiming your self-esteem after divorce is a critical part of the healing process. Here are some suggestions to help you on your way.
http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Divorce_Recovery/full_esteem_ahead.html
4. RELATIONSHIPS
Sex and divorce
Coping with divorce and the prospect of new sexual relationships can be emotionally challenging, to say the least. Here’s a look at some of the pitfalls and opportunities up ahead.
http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Relationships/sexanddivorce.html
5. BUSINESS VALUATION
How will you find value?
Many business owners realize the importance of having buy-sell agreements in place for their closely held businesses, but few realize the problems that can arise if these agreements have not been properly thought out.
http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Business_Valuation/determining_the_price.html
6. FINANCIAL PLANNING/INVESTMENT
Charting your expenses
Here’s some help with the task of budgeting for your family’s past, present, and future expenses.
http://www.divorcemag.com/articles/Financial_Planning/chartexpenses.html