Dallas Divorce Law Blog by Michelle O'Neil

As I’ve posted recently, issues often arise about how to handle kids and divorce.  One of the problems has received recent media attention from Hulk Hogan’s divorce.  Apparently Hulk is sending messages to estranged wife Linda through their 17-year-old son and otherwise discussing divorce issues — the sale of the marital residence — with him, causing the son to developed emotional issues.  See article here.

One would think it goes without saying that parents should not put their children in the middle of communication about grown-up issues. Most Texas divorce courts enter orders prohibiting discussions about the litigation in the hearing of the child as soon as the divorce is filed.  Some counties, including Dallas, Collin, Tarrant, and Denton, call these “Standing Orders” (see blog post Dallas Divorce Lawyers Know…).  But, sometimes parents still allow their judgment to be clouded by the emotion of the divorce to the extent that they forget to put the kids first.

Dick Price has a good blog post on his website about Divorce No No’s that he says can lead to emotional and behavioral problems.  His list of No No’s includes:

1. Make a child into a messenger.
2. Let the kids overhear comments about the other parent.
3. Let the kids be present, in person or on the phone, to hear arguments about the kids.
4. Make comments directly to the child about the other parent.
5. Discuss the “facts” or “truth” about the divorce with the kids.
6. Inform the kids, or let them know, about what they are missing out on becasue they will be with the other parent.
7. Ask the kids to make choices between parents.

To read more of Mr. Price’s article, click here.

More Men Get Alimony as Stigma Lessens

By Debra Cassens Weiss

As more men sacrifice their careers for their higher earning spouses, more are receiving court-ordered alimony. And more are willing to talk about it.

The percentage of men receiving alimony rose to 3.6 percent in the five years ending in 2006, compared to 2.4 percent in the previous five-year period, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Among those receiving alimony is actor John David Castellanos, who used to star in The Young and the Restless. He gets $9,000 a month. He claims he helped his wife move up in her career, until she began to make more money than him. Another alimony recipient is toilet salesman Joe Garnick, who quit his job to raise the kids and take care of the house. He received $50,000 a year for four years from his ex-wife, who was a global equity derivatives strategist for Merrill Lynch.

The story suggests alimony figures will rise based on 2005 data that shows wives made more money than their husbands in 33 percent of all families. Men often argue they sacrificed their careers or stayed at home to raise children for their spouses.

“Today’s men are shaking off the stigma of being supported by their ex-wives,” the story says. “Several agreed to talk on the record for this article, in part because they say the popular image of the male alimony recipient is unfair: He’s not always a slacker.”

The New York Times ran an article on February 13, 2008, about the increasing controversy over religion in custody cases. See article here. Increasingly, people of different religions marry and divorce, then disagree over which religion(s) to introduce to the children. Or, tensions can emerge when one parent becomes more fundamentalist in their faith than previously.

As a general rule, a judge will not — and probably cannot — pick one religion over another as preferable. The constitutional freedom of religion that we here in American experience also carries over to custody cases. A judge may decide whether either or both parents have the right to make decisions about the child’s religion while the child is in that parent’s care. Usually, a parent may address religion or religious beliefs with the child while the child is with them during parenting time. But, short of finding some harm to the child from the parent’s religion or beliefs, a judge will probably stay out of the fray.

Download this useful FREE Divorce guide with information about Texas divorce laws and Dallas area divorce lawyer Michelle May O’Neil.

What does it mean when a lawyer says he or she is ”Board Certified”? Does it matter?

Board Certification is a voluntary designation program for attorneys and paralegals by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. To become Board Certified in a particular area, an attorney must have:

• Been licensed to practice law for at least five years,
• Devoted a required percentage of practice to a specialty area for at least three years,
• Handled a wide variety of matters in the area to demonstrate experience and involvement,
• Been evaluated by fellow lawyers and judges, and
• Passed a six-hour written examination

The initial certification is valid for a period of five years, with recertification every five years thereafter. There are 18 areas of law in which an attorney may be certified in Texas.

Board certified family law specialists have participated in the contested trial of cases involving matters such as divorce, property division, child custody, child support, adoption, paterniety, or other matrimonial matters. There are only 712 attorneys in the entire state of Texas who have achieved board certification in family law. To download a brochure about Family Law Board Certified Attorneys, click here.

While there are many fine attorneys who practice their entire careers without becoming board certified, there are potential advantages to the client who chooses to retain a board certified attorney. For example, the client may be assured that the attorney has already demonstrated experience and involvement in Texas family law. Also, because of that experience and involvement, the board certified attorney may be able to handle complex issues more efficiently than another attorney, saving the client time, aggravation, and money.

Dallas Divorce Attorney Michelle May O’Neil became a board certified family law specialist in 1997, at the first available opportunity in her career. Please contact us if you would like to discuss further how a board certified family law specialist can benefit your case.

Sometimes people ask a family lawyer, “how many cases have you won and lost?” For many reasons, most family lawyers don’t and shouldn’t keep win/loss records.

First, we don’t determine the facts of the case. Our clients make decisions in their lives that affect our ability for success in their case. Also, success is neither easily defined nor the same in each case. For one client, getting a fair amount of child support set defines success. For another client, sole managing conservatorship might be a must-win. Lastly, in my opinion, keeping win/loss records on matters involving people, often children, and their relationships is tactless and insensitive.

Lawyers’ ethics rules prevent representations that past results are indicative of future success. Thus, it would be even unethical for a lawyer to imply that his or her past record in other cases would, somehow, indicate that he or she would be successful in the client’s particular circumstance.

Although it is understandable that a client would want as much information about the lawyer being hired, there are other, more relevant inquiries. For advice criteria to look at in choosing the right lawyer, see my article “How To Pick A Lawyer” here.

March 4 is Voting Day.  Some call it Election Day, but I see it a little differently.  It is our day to VOTE. The election of someone to a publicly paid-for job is a natural byproduct of our decision to Vote.  Women and minorities should be particularly interested in voting, as many people worked very hard and sacrificed much to give us the right to vote.  Women were only granted the right to vote by the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution in 1920 — that’s only 88 years that we’ve been given the right to cast a ballot.  Not that men should take it any less seriously just because they’ve always had the right to vote.

Voting can have an impact on everyone who has a need to have a legal matter resolved through the court system. When two married people decide to get a divorce, unless they can agree on their disputes, a judge will make decisions that affect their lives and the lives of their children. That judge is elected by people who vote!

So,please remember to exercise your right to vote. You have the right to choose which political party you stand with and which of the contested races to vote in, but regardless, educate yourself on the races and go vote.